A client recently asked me how I motivate myself to regularly meditate.  Here I share 4 ways that I support myself to do something for myself that truly helps me thrive in my life.  I feel more healthy in my mind, body and heart with my personal meditation practice.

These keys can be applied to MOST regular practices that you do that bring you towards your most connected, joyful, confident, easeful self - whether it's yoga, art, dance, personal pleasure practices, creating music, meditation, working out, breathwork, getting out into nature, you name it... these keys will help you find a way to feel magnetized to these things you love that help you live your best life.

There’s something about this word: Embrace that Anam Thubten speaks of that says it all to me.  To wake up from stress and suffering we have to be able to Embrace everything with a sense of softness and love.  When we feel pain or disappointment - can we sink into the moment and put our hands on our hearts and melt around the pain instead of fight against it or try to make it go away?

The reality is that there are many different kinds of coaches and many different kinds of therapists with innumerable amount of various training backgrounds, so it’s important to inquire about the specifics of each person and what they offer and what their training is.

• Do you find yourself often focusing on what's wrong or what's missing?  
• Do you get stuck in anxiety and sadness, feeling weighed down by patterns of negative thoughts?

We can use our minds to create new experiences that include more ease, peace, contentment and even happiness.  In this video, I introduce Rick Hanson's amazing work on neural plasticity and using our minds to change our brains with a very simple and easy process that can be used just a few minutes here and there throughout your day.

• Could you use some spacious time to come back to your heart?
• Are you stuck in your head and not feeling very connected to your body?
• Have you been bombarded by criticism, judgment and shame?

This 26-minute spacious guided audio practice offers simple instruction in mindfulness meditation and includes offering loving-kindness (Metta in Pali) for yourself.  It has been said to be an antidote for fear, hatred and greed.  A protection from all those negative, critical and judgmental thoughts the mind creates.

• Got a mind full of shame and blame and judgment?  
• Are you down on yourself because you can't get yourself to stop being so hard on yourself and others?
• Focusing on what's wrong all the time?

Guess what??? You're not stuck like this. You're not broken. Mindfulness and self-compassion offers a sustainable path towards creating more space inside yourself to feel a little more gentle, accepting and even FREE from being taken out by these heavy moments with yourself.  

I offer this talk as an easy process to practice being in a new way with yourself. It's 13-minutes. Got some time to sit down, put aside any distractions and ponder this with me? If so...  here it is...

This post was written by me (Shelby Leigh) and originally shared by the AMAZING women doing incredible work over at Be Nourished in Portland.  They're helping folks learn about health at all sizes and they're known for the ways they help people learn compassion, acceptance and Body Trust®.  "Our passion is helping people lose the weight of body shame to create the change they seek from a deeper place."

Here is their introduction: "We are hearing a lot about gastrointestinal disorders these days. For years, it was leaky gut syndrome. Now SIBO (small intestinal bacterial overgrowth) seems to be the diagnosis of the day. Researchers are just beginning to understand the complexity of the gut microbiome. While health care providers give lip service to how anxiety and stress impact the gut, treatment usually focuses on restrictive diets, supplements and medications. We believe it is important for providers, and the people they serve, to keep a wide lens when looking for answers to what might most support healing. When we start to mess with people’s food, we also mess with their lives. For many, what begins as a seemingly harmless experiment turns into years of disordered eating and a diminished quality of life. As providers, our first ethical guideline is to do no harm. So how do we help without harming?

In her blog “From Helpless to Kindness: Food, Emotions & Me,” Shelby Leigh shares how she made peace with food by listening to what her body wanted, not her mind. Shelby writes, “I believe my unhealthy gut bacteria thrive on low self-esteem, self-doubt, shame and lack of meaningful human connection and affection.” We found this perspective so refreshing—and sorely lacking—in dialogue about healing gut complaints."

From Helpless to Kindness: Food, Emotions & Me

I’ll never forget that night when I was walking up SW Morrison Street towards 12th. It was dark early then and very rainy – as it often is that time of year in Portland. It was many years ago but the moment is crisp in my memory. I remember feeling an incredible sense of helplessness and hopelessness around food and feeding myself.

I remember being incredibly hungry and in a hurry and at a loss for how to find food I could eat without going all the way across town to my own kitchen. I remember feeling so depleted I could barely keep myself standing – my impulse was to curl up in fetal position right there in a doorway of a closed shop wishing and hoping someone would come save me, fix my body and tell me what was wrong with it. Why was I allergic to almost every food I put in my body? Why couldn’t I take in any nourishment?

When hearing emotional pain we can easily jump to an immediate reaction to “fix it”…which is not always helpful. When people experience pain, they benefit from being heard and validated through empathy, not pity or sympathy (see the difference here). Sometimes we wish well, but we just have a hard time coming up with empathetic statements.

Often times our natural tendency is to eradicate pain and fix the issue. While this can be helpful in some cases, it is usually best to collaborate and fix an issue (if desired by the hurting person) after hearing and validating the pain.

When we empathize with others, we give them space to process, time to feel heard, a chance to experience support and the opportunity to feel validated in their feelings.

Coming Home to Our Bodies When Our Bodies Feel Anything But Relaxing, Safe and Cozy… Like a Home Should Be

Chronic health conditions carry a huge weight for so many of us. Grief, loneliness, shame, doubt, disconnection, hopelessness, depression and anger can arise in response to feeling out of control with our bodies. When we make space for them and also cultivate internal skills for being more at ease with pain, it is possible to live a more free and vibrant life – even if we are in pain. 

Pain doesn’t have to mean suffering or stress...

In this moment, I’m sitting here looking out my window at the trees and the grass after a very long rain. The sun is coming out and the drops on the trees are fresh and shimmering in light. My heart feels full and relaxed and I feel a deep gratitude for all of the abundance available to me here in this very moment.

There’s a lot happening right now in the world. There is so much suffering and fear and separation between people and communities and hearts. And, a lot has happened in the past year in my life. More loss than I ever thought I’d be able to handle. With all of that, my heart feels more full than it ever has. And I feel more clear and grounded in my purpose and body with a great warmth that encompasses it all.

THIS is what a Fierce Heart feels like.

Being able to continue to keep my heart open amidst all of the ups and downs that this human life brings.  Staying committed to deepening into love and healing a covered heart amidst so much tragedy and confusion. THIS is what a Fierce Heart Feels like.