I get it... I was one of those people who would shut my eyes and feel more chaotic.  I felt more anxious and sometimes very frightened and agitated.  Meditating seemed to make things worse rather than better. I muscled my way through the practices because I heard it could help.  And I was sure I'd already tried everything else.  

The way meditation was taught when I first found these practices 15 years ago wasn't trauma-informed.