On Valentines day I was invited to go see a performance at a school. I showed up and realized it wasn’t just a bunch of little kids performing something cute… It was young women performing poetry and monologues bringing awareness to violence to women around the world. While it was a bit of a recalibration to realize the topic was so deep and painful, it was inspiring and eye opening.Read More
I disappoint people.
I REALLY disappoint people. Sometimes I feel like A SUPER BIG DISAPPOINTMENT. Sometimes I really let people down. Piss people off. People feel hurt and misunderstood by me. It used to feel like death to me when I let people down. I LITERALLY wanted to die. Over something as simple as messing up the flavor of ice cream they asked me to pick up for them. The thought of not getting it perfect made my knees shake and my gut rot.
Over time, I learned it’s not that I am a disappointment, it’s that I disappoint people sometimes.Read More
Who would you be if nothing was wrong? This is a question I ask myself from time to time. It’s a therapeutic question I drop in there from time to time because my habitual thinking tendency is to look for what’s wrong - it’s a way I survived. It’s a way I made sure to keep track of anything that could go wrong, so I could get away from it or fix it or protect myself in some way if I needed to.Read More
Are you in LOVE with LOVE?
Do you feel “let-down”, disappointed, frustrated, broken and full of shame, when it felt so full of promise and then everything felt like it changed?Read More
If you didn't see my first post from last week titled, "Fight for Me", go back and start there. This is the second part of that where we'll dig deeper into how to identify what you are feeling and why. We'll start with the following questions.Read More
This may resonate with you if are one of those people that perpetually feels dumbfounded standing there with your heart wide open and willing after someone who has been calling for your attention over and over again only to find them not quite as “there” as the seemed before.Read More
I've been unraveling lately. Pulling apart the loose threads that make me who I am. Who I am. Who I am is a construct of ideas, beliefs, thoughts. Not tangible things to hold. Nothing with weight or grit or substance. Simply electrical impulses, grooves in the the brain, in yoga, we call these Samskaras. And mine were deep and had roots and limbs and Octopus suction cups. But now "who I am" is more like an old cloth, thin from wear, soft, changeable, threads sticking out on every side, all you have to do is pull and it keeps unraveling, this idea of myself keeps unraveling.Read More
I’ve gone back and forth as to whether to share this personal moment with you. It feels vulnerable to share this! And… in my heart of hearts I know it’s the vulnerable and very human moments that connects me to you.
Here I share about a recent moment where I was struggling with some anxiety around navigating a big transition in relationship.
What a journey! I just completed filming 15 videos to share with the world on how to create “safe enough space” to really be able offer people with trauma and really sensitive nervous systems healing and growth when working with them - whether 1:1 or in groups.
I want to hear your stories! I’m creating an online video series to assist facilitators in learning how to help people with trauma feel welcome and able to learn.
Despite the best intentions and kindest hearts, intuition isn’t enough. The more people can learn how to create safer space for EVERYONE, the more people can LIVE CONNECTED in their hearts, bodies and interpersonally.
This series will be for all types of facilitators of groups and 1:1 sessions (I.e. massage therapists, workshop leaders, meditation teachers, yoga teachers, therapists, coaches, breathwork facilitators, and the list goes ON).
Are you feeling lost for WHICH DANG PRACTICE TO CHOOSE? Lately I’ve been feeling all of these shoulds on my shoulders and, with such a huge basket of tools and practices, I’m feeling a little overwhelmed with choice because they’re ALL SO GOOD. Which, in turn, leaves me wanting to do nothing besides pace around my house shuffling papers around to see if I can get ORGANIZED! Cause, if I can get everything organized, everything will feel in control, right?! NOPE.
Are you tired of speeding into and out of amazing romances?
Rushing into them and then having them crash into stories of rejection or abandonment or you find yourself running?
This video offers some thoughts on how to work with that soul sucking anxiety and insecurity to help you stop clinging and start enjoying deepening into relationship in a new way.Read More
- Do you find yourself often focusing on what's wrong or what's missing?
- Do you get stuck in anxiety and sadness, feeling weighed down by patterns of negative thoughts?
We can use our minds to create new experiences that include more ease, peace, contentment and even happiness. In this video, I introduce Rick Hanson's amazing work on neural plasticity and using our minds to change our brains with a very simple and easy process that can be used just a few minutes here and there throughout your day.Read More
- Could you use some spacious time to come back to your heart?
- Are you stuck in your head and not feeling very connected to your body?
- Have you been bombarded by criticism, judgment and shame?
This 26-minute spacious guided audio practice offers simple instruction in mindfulness meditation and includes offering loving-kindness (Metta in Pali) for yourself. It has been said to be an antidote for fear, hatred and greed. A protection from all those negative, critical and judgmental thoughts the mind creates.Read More
- Got a mind full of shame and blame and judgment?
- Are you down on yourself because you can't get yourself to stop being so hard on yourself and others?
- Focusing on what's wrong all the time?
Guess what??? You're not stuck like this. You're not broken. Mindfulness and self-compassion offers a sustainable path towards creating more space inside yourself to feel a little more gentle, accepting and even FREE from being taken out by these heavy moments with yourself.
I offer this talk as an easy process to practice being in a new way with yourself. It's 13-minutes. Got some time to sit down, put aside any distractions and ponder this with me? If so... here it is...Read More
This post was written by me (Shelby Leigh) and originally shared by the AMAZING women doing incredible work over at Be Nourished in Portland. They're helping folks learn about health at all sizes and they're known for the ways they help people learn compassion, acceptance and Body Trust®. "Our passion is helping people lose the weight of body shame to create the change they seek from a deeper place."
Here is their introduction: "We are hearing a lot about gastrointestinal disorders these days. For years, it was leaky gut syndrome. Now SIBO (small intestinal bacterial overgrowth) seems to be the diagnosis of the day. Researchers are just beginning to understand the complexity of the gut microbiome. While health care providers give lip service to how anxiety and stress impact the gut, treatment usually focuses on restrictive diets, supplements and medications. We believe it is important for providers, and the people they serve, to keep a wide lens when looking for answers to what might most support healing. When we start to mess with people’s food, we also mess with their lives. For many, what begins as a seemingly harmless experiment turns into years of disordered eating and a diminished quality of life. As providers, our first ethical guideline is to do no harm. So how do we help without harming?
In her blog “From Helpless to Kindness: Food, Emotions & Me,” Shelby Leigh shares how she made peace with food by listening to what her body wanted, not her mind. Shelby writes, “I believe my unhealthy gut bacteria thrive on low self-esteem, self-doubt, shame and lack of meaningful human connection and affection.” We found this perspective so refreshing—and sorely lacking—in dialogue about healing gut complaints."
From Helpless to Kindness: Food, Emotions & Me
I’ll never forget that night when I was walking up SW Morrison Street towards 12th. It was dark early then and very rainy – as it often is that time of year in Portland. It was many years ago but the moment is crisp in my memory. I remember feeling an incredible sense of helplessness and hopelessness around food and feeding myself.
I remember being incredibly hungry and in a hurry and at a loss for how to find food I could eat without going all the way across town to my own kitchen. I remember feeling so depleted I could barely keep myself standing – my impulse was to curl up in fetal position right there in a doorway of a closed shop wishing and hoping someone would come save me, fix my body and tell me what was wrong with it. Why was I allergic to almost every food I put in my body? Why couldn’t I take in any nourishment?Read More