I disappoint people.
I REALLY disappoint people. Sometimes I feel like A SUPER BIG DISAPPOINTMENT. Sometimes I really let people down. Piss people off. People feel hurt and misunderstood by me. It used to feel like death to me when I let people down. I LITERALLY wanted to die. Over something as simple as messing up the flavor of ice cream they asked me to pick up for them. The thought of not getting it perfect made my knees shake and my gut rot.
Over time, I learned it’s not that I am a disappointment, it’s that I disappoint people sometimes.Read More
Who would you be if nothing was wrong? This is a question I ask myself from time to time. It’s a therapeutic question I drop in there from time to time because my habitual thinking tendency is to look for what’s wrong - it’s a way I survived. It’s a way I made sure to keep track of anything that could go wrong, so I could get away from it or fix it or protect myself in some way if I needed to.Read More
When hearing emotional pain we can easily jump to an immediate reaction to “fix it”…which is not always helpful. When people experience pain, they benefit from being heard and validated through empathy, not pity or sympathy (see the difference here). Sometimes we wish well, but we just have a hard time coming up with empathetic statements.
Often times our natural tendency is to eradicate pain and fix the issue. While this can be helpful in some cases, it is usually best to collaborate and fix an issue (if desired by the hurting person) after hearing and validating the pain.
When we empathize with others, we give them space to process, time to feel heard, a chance to experience support and the opportunity to feel validated in their feelings.Read More
Are you willing to be uncomfortable?
I don't know about you but I have noticed that at times, when I really desire things to be different, I want them to be different but not at the expense of my comfort.
So let me ask again…. Are you REALLY willing to be uncomfortable?
What are you willing to give up in order to have what you seek?
I’ve been pretty good at pretending like I’m good at discomfort but to be really honest… I have spent much of my life trying to avoid being uncomfortable. But the joke is that the more comfortable I’ve gotten with being uncomfortable, I’ve saved myself so much time and energy and have learned how to get to the core of things in a more direct way.
Would you rather just pretend like you’re going through the motions of change while knowing deep down you’d rather not be challenged too much?
In my work as a Somatic Counselor, I have already recommended this book to many of my clients and colleagues. There are numerous books out there talking about the ins and outs of attachment and relationship and how to understand it. I have read most of them. I am excited about “Meet Me In Hard To Love Places” because it feels comprehensive, holistic and accessible to anyone who is curious about their habitual patterns in relationship and how to overcome and understand reactivity and the various stuck places that occur inside ourselves in relationship.