Chronic Pain and Relationship Friction. Do they correlate for you?

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about all those unconscious ways our bodies try to help us out.  Even when we think they’re doing the opposite. In this Vlog, I share about something I’ve noticed in my own life around how often when there’s been any kind of friction (or a tiny glimpse that friction could be there), my body sometimes goes into an unconscious pain reaction.  Well… not so unconscious anymore… busted!

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I Disappoint People

I disappoint people.

I REALLY disappoint people.  Sometimes I feel like A SUPER BIG DISAPPOINTMENT.  Sometimes I really let people down.  Piss people off.  People feel hurt and misunderstood by me.  It used to feel like death to me when I let people down.  I LITERALLY wanted to die.  Over something as simple as messing up the flavor of ice cream they asked me to pick up for them.  The thought of not getting it perfect made my knees shake and my gut rot.  

Over time, I learned it’s not that I am a disappointment, it’s that I disappoint people sometimes.

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Celebrating each other

It is the end of week 1 of 4 in the Mexican jungle with nearly 50 women.  3 weeks to go, each new group of 50 women. Stunned. Awed. Grateful. I am feeling wild and on a mission.  

These women come here as we support them through many processes, and layer by layer they melt away so much shame, conditioning, fear and grief - all the ways they’ve been taught to be small and less alive.  

One of the ways we do this is through celebration and permission and invitations to allow every woman to be FULLY themselves in every moment.  In blissful pleasure, in dark frightened shadows, in sheer contentment, in perfectionism and control, in quietness, in loudness, and everything in between.

Celebrating each other and ourselves is NOT something most of us has been taught.  The power of truly giving ourselves and each other permission and saying yes is revolutionary.  

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What if Nothing Was Wrong?

Who would you be if nothing was wrong?  This is a question I ask myself from time to time.  It’s a therapeutic question I drop in there from time to time because my habitual thinking tendency is to look for what’s wrong - it’s a way I survived.  It’s a way I made sure to keep track of anything that could go wrong, so I could get away from it or fix it or protect myself in some way if I needed to.

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I've been unraveling lately. Pulling apart the loose threads that make me who I am. Who I am. Who I am is a construct of ideas, beliefs, thoughts. Not tangible things to hold. Nothing with weight or grit or substance. Simply electrical impulses, grooves in the the brain, in yoga, we call these Samskaras. And mine were deep and had roots and limbs and Octopus suction cups. But now "who I am" is more like an old cloth, thin from wear, soft, changeable, threads sticking out on every side, all you have to do is pull and it keeps unraveling, this idea of myself keeps unraveling.

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Embracing anxiety in intimate relationships. Especially in transitions and distance.

I’ve gone back and forth as to whether to share this personal moment with you.  It feels vulnerable to share this!  And… in my heart of hearts I know it’s the vulnerable and very human moments that connects me to you.
Here I share about a recent moment where I was struggling with some anxiety around navigating a big transition in relationship.  

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Building Trust in Healing and Growth Experiences

I want to hear your stories!  I’m creating an online video series to assist facilitators in learning how to help people with trauma feel welcome and able to learn.  

Despite the best intentions and kindest hearts, intuition isn’t enough. The more people can learn how to create safer space for EVERYONE, the more people can LIVE CONNECTED in their hearts, bodies and interpersonally.

This series will be for all types of facilitators of groups and 1:1 sessions (I.e. massage therapists, workshop leaders, meditation teachers, yoga teachers, therapists, coaches, breathwork facilitators, and the list goes ON).

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Lost And Confused And FOMO

Are you feeling lost for WHICH DANG PRACTICE TO CHOOSE?  Lately I’ve been feeling all of these shoulds on my shoulders and, with such a huge basket of tools and practices, I’m feeling a little overwhelmed with choice because they’re ALL SO GOOD.  Which, in turn, leaves me wanting to do nothing besides pace around my house shuffling papers around to see if I can get ORGANIZED! Cause, if I can get everything organized, everything will feel in control, right?!  NOPE.

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Start TODAY to Create Sustainable and Lasting Change

Happy New Year!  This tends to be the time of year where so many people go wild around starting new patterns, new projects and new commitments to themselves.  There’s so much collective energy around letting go of the old and bringing in the new.  If you’re someone who’s diving into 2018 feeling inspired to start something new, I’d love to offer a tool that I use to create SUSTAINABLE and lasting change, it’s called the “Bottom-Line” practice.

I see so many people getting their hopes up and having huge expectations for themselves only to crash out of it falling into old familiar patterns and not fully trusting their ability to make shifts they want to make.  

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4 Keys To Showing Up For A Regular Practice and Thriving

A client recently asked me how I motivate myself to regularly meditate.  Here I share 4 ways that I support myself to do something for myself that truly helps me thrive in my life.  I feel more healthy in my mind, body and heart with my personal meditation practice.

These keys can be applied to MOST regular practices that you do that bring you towards your most connected, joyful, confident, easeful self - whether it's yoga, art, dance, personal pleasure practices, creating music, meditation, working out, breathwork, getting out into nature, you name it... these keys will help you find a way to feel magnetized to these things you love that help you live your best life.

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“Embracing Each Moment: A Guide to the Awakened Life” by Anam Thubten

There’s something about this word: Embrace that Anam Thubten speaks of that says it all to me.  To wake up from stress and suffering we have to be able to Embrace everything with a sense of softness and love.  When we feel pain or disappointment - can we sink into the moment and put our hands on our hearts and melt around the pain instead of fight against it or try to make it go away?

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Book ReviewShelby LeighComment